Dear Candidates: What to Do at Tonight’s Debate (That Doesn’t Involve Debating)

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Dear Candidates: What to Do at Tonight’s Debate (That Doesn’t Involve Debating) "February 20, 2017
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The PCI team dreams up alternatives for our candidates on debate night.

Dear Donald and Hillary: Feeling anxious leading up to tonight’s third and final presidential debate? You’re not the only ones. With a majority of Americans reporting “significant stress” due to the events of 2016, election anxiety is real. But is it necessary?

At PCI, we don’t think so. Our team has rounded up a list of alternative activities we would like to see you do together tonight. We believe they would elevate this year’s presidential contest (after all, it could hardly get lower). But don’t worry—none of them involve actual debating. Consider the following:

Discuss your foreign policies via rap battle.
Drop the beat, grab the mic, and have at it. Hamilton has nothing on you two! Who knows? The whole affair may even end in a duel!

Have a good ‘ol fashioned staring contest.
A CLASSIC. Two candidates, four eyes and a whole lot of intense looking. We’ve been giggling at our desks all day thinking about it.

Bubble soccer
Because that is an actual thing.

Practice your trust falls
This undoubtedly would make for a short evening.

Beyoncé Sing-A-Long
Because, admit it: Lemonade has been stuck in your heads for the past 6 months, too.

Candidate/Surrogate Chicken Fight
Hillary on Bill’s shoulders, Donald on Ben Carson. Obviously.

Oscar host-style wardrobe changes
Appear in different themed outfits every 10 minutes or so (Wild West, Hipster, 19th Century Suffragette, riff from there).

Hire Donald and Hillary mascots!
Both costumes must be designed to be incredibly uncomfortable, but change position easily.

Recreate, shot-by-shot, the “Time of My Life” scene from Dirty Dancing (replete with climactic lift). Use this as your starting point.

So...Hill, Don...pick any of the above and have at it. You’ll be better for it. We all will. After the endless campaign stress, doesn’t America deserve it?

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